Saturday, November 12, 2016

I Live In A Blue State

Where there are pretty white clouds and endless blue skies. Where, after someone celebrated by the KKK is elected, the stores and shopping centers are bare because of grief-stricken people.

I live in a state where being Jewish or black or brown or unable to speak any English is protected.

I don't even deal with real racism. Unless you count the fact that most of my neighbors wear a badge of pride because they live next to me and they haven't been racist at all. Which is cute and funny and a little weird.

I don't deal with being bullied or talked down to. At work, I am surrounded by the most open-minded people in the world. Where in friends, someone could say something that might not be totally straight, and no one even bats an eye.

This is my sheltered bubble.

But it wasn't always like that.

I've lived in other states, supposedly blue too, where race is a cause of monetary tension. Where race divides us as if we really were in different continents. No one EVER in their lives say something that wasn't wholly heterosexual.

I lived in a world where being a different religion meant that you're probably a terrorist.

And I can tell you what you already guess. I don't miss it.

I'd never want someone to need those suicide hotline numbers. No one to be harassed or hurt over things they can't change.

But it's hard.

I keep wondering how to avoid all this conflict. I'm not used to it. I don't like it.

But the alternative is not standing up for someone who's being knocked down. The Alternative is to do nothing for the people who need help.

I can't live with that alternative. No matter how many times I try to flinch away from this. I can't. I might fail. Actually, with the responses I've been getting today, I think I will, but the alternative is knowing that I backed down.

I am a scaredy cat. I am the biggest kitty in the world.

The thought of a haunted house during October made me run for cover.

But the alternative is painful. Not scary. I can live with getting startled, but I can't live with being quiet.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
[Martin Niemoller]

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

NaNoWriMo 2016's Playlist

Hello, beauties!

It's such a beautiful day here where I am. Sun is shining, the clouds are smears of white and wonder. The sky is blue and definitely not crashing down.

*off pitch singing*

I am not the only one who is trying to duck and cover from the election wars happening right now. I just want it to be tomorrow with my choice taking over the world. Or just Obama taking the country for himself and we just live the way we have been for the last eight years.

I don't care. I just like the quiet. I hate conflict. WHICH IS HILARIOUS considering that making my characters hurt and decide between their favorite things is my cardio.

I'm dorky. Get over it.
But anyway, you came here for music. I know I need music to help me sometimes. Just to help me decide the atmosphere, but sometimes it also helps me get back to the feeling when I've failed to describe it well.

Besides, music and playlists, scores and soundtracks, are SO important to me. I think it's because I do so much visual entertainment that I know how important music is to a piece.

Enough rambling. Let's listen!

1. HOW daughter

2. VENUS sleeping at last

3. THIS TOWN niall horan

4. ALL WE EVER KNEW the head and the heart

5. WE DON'T KNOW the strumbellas

6. ALL TIME LOW jon bellion

7. THINK OF YOU christina grimmie

8. SHADOW MOSES bring me the horizon

9. DOOMED bring me the horizon

10. TRUE FRIENDS bring me the horizon

I am OBSESSED with Doomed by Bring Me the Horizon. Every time it comes on, I just get excited about writing this story. SIGH.

I've been playing it on repeat for so long that I'm just gonna buy it. And go write! Because it's just that awesome!


Monday, November 7, 2016

Deadline, Every Time

Hello! This is my update post.

I honestly didn't think I'd be doing this one so quickly after the first. I will tell you what, that was PAINFUL.

It was actually worse than the first time I wrote a novel in a week. I was telling my buddy that I think it's because there was pressure to finish within a certain time other than write just because I needed to spill the story.

But I finished it and with the slow ending, I realized why it dragged me rather than let me ride it to the end.

So I have notes about how to adjust the timeline. How to add more scenes, how to make it a crazy runaway train again.

Lesson learned, I hope. But I totally plan to write a follow up novel same fashion. I think starting tomorrow, I should do something else. I mean, I say I think because I know I won't be able to.

I've been doing literally everything today instead of writing.

(Tried on some makeup styles for pictures for social media. Thought about setting up Like page again. Having a minor panic attack that my Macbook charger diednope, it lives. Checking my horoscope. Talking to friends. You name it, today I attempted it.)

So I think I'll veg out actually on some Netflix. Netflix, rekindler of passions. Sigh. Yes.

And if you're curious about how I'm going to be fixing my bones later, I made some worksheets for NaNoWriMo!

Thanks so much for reading! May the odds be ever in your favor!


Hello Friends!

Long time no see!

Because I'm still in the process of making up my mind about where to put things, blog wise, I decided to come here for my 50k victory goal.


Yes, I'm here to procrastinate finishing this novel.

I have actually been vlogging for a few months now. I have yet to edit these videos but I touch on a few subjects there that I'll put into words here.

Hello! I had a plan this year for NaNoWriMo and I think that's made the difference.

I just announced my 50k on Twitter and on the site. This was my intentional all along.

A few years back, when I was still in school, I drafted one of my most coherent books in just a week. I've never been able to do that before but I took a long time off from writing, you know, the usual writer Black Moment when all hope is lost.

I never wanted to be published. I was never going to write something that I loved and was good enough for other people. Book I was never going to take off despite there being a Book VII.

That sort of thing.

But then, like a beam of sunshine, through endless work days and tons of Real Life projects (hello, I went to the mountains and saw my entire state; I went on a road trip to a magical and terrifying castle; I celebrated birthdays and soccer matches), I started watching K-dramas on Netflix.

Falling For Innocence aka Why I Can Never Love Another K-Drama Again
And I remembered again why I loved to write. Because I wasn't ready to give up on the miracle of true love or shenanigans or the endurance of a person during the pit of despair.

I wrote one story, what I call Book IV but is really like five or six or something. Then I had pre-planned in a way where these people were going next.

But then I decided fuck it and just wrote.

Enough of the gush of that. TLDR: I wrote and didn't make excuses.

I have a pretty set schedule so I dedicated three full hours in the morning to just write. I locked myself up, kept the use of the internet to a minimum, and made my fingers tap those buttons.

Then at night, after dinner and a shift at work, I dedicated another hour or so. Sometimes more, depending on what time I was unable to make words.

Don't get me wrong. I did stupid things like delete full chapters that took me too far into the future or didn't lead me the right way.

I thought of ways to write the next scene while I was driving, at work, showering, eating.

But I kept writing.

Now, the story isn't finished yet. My second goal is to finish by tonight's word count log but honestly? I think that it'll be tomorrow. Which is still acceptable.

This story is kicking my ass. I just need to hurt the characters just a tiny bit more...

But anyway. I wanted to share how I did it since I know a few of you are wondering.

Just set time aside. Made myself write. Told myself a set amount of days. And put the pedal to the metal.

Now, I really have to get going. There's a Part Two coming to this post. Thank you all for being so wonderful! I thought I'd be shouting into the void with this one!