Wednesday, September 28, 2011

how to get me to comment on your blog

From the creator(s) who brought you that other how-to blog post on here, comes: HOW TO GET ME TO COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG!

I know you guys have been waiting for this one. I can feel it. (But I am a little crazy and pretend to feel the weather changing too even though I've never broken a bone.)

Let's see. Where to begin. It's not as hard as it seems. First, if you really want my opinion, shove your blog in my face. Use a catchy title or lie to me, flat out.

Once there, I won't read a block of writing but if your paragraphs are small, I'll forget why I came to your blog and read it.

Next, make sure you have voice. I don't know what to say about that. I have no blogging voice. Blogs aren't my dealio so that's up to you, Captain Underpants.

And last, make sure I can comment. If things ask me to do stuff after I type up a reply, likely I'll navigate away and throw the comment out of my head. No pop-ups or whatchamacallits. Human verifiers. They're annoying and I have tech trouble as is :P

Also, I liked weird pictures. Those are a bonus and if you have shiny pictures, I will come back and follow your blog. (YOU HAVE TO MAKE FOLLOWING YOUR BLOG EASY TOO!)

Don't tell the author she doesn't follow her own rules. She barely has a blog and barely knows how to use it. But this is for YOUR benefit. Not hers. She'll forget this post after awhile.

i feel like i do one of these every week

Okay, the contest thing for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is going to be held off for awhile. I know, I know. I always do this but I've got finals, and school enrollment stuff to think about. Sleep? Yeah. Past 72 hours I've gotten maybe 19 hours of sleep.

I think that's unhealthy. I should know but my brain is dead. Also, I've got revisions and we ALL know how that goes for my brain. I become a zombie and then things get sour.

On top of that (oh there's a list of things that I have to spell out), family is going into a transition stage. We're going to get new phones and better internet and HOPEFULLY a better computer for me. Phone's dead. Like really. Comp goes on standby for just about anything...yep. *sigh*

So there's your Rainbow Cupcake newsletter.

Feel free to wince for me when I *don't* get anything and stop talking to my writing community again. MAJOR SIGH.

--E.I.G

Monday, September 19, 2011

how to get me to buy your self-pub

I've seen the tweets but kept my mouth shut. I mean, I can't say I'm enthusiastic about self-pubs but I'm not opposed. Self-pubbed peeps have some pants and determination...

But a lot of them are also just a little bit out of it.

No, I'm not a pubbed author. In any way. (Not that I remember.) But I'm a reader and I see these things.

The self-pubs that I've pawed through, and I've gone through MANY, have so many grammar mistakes, plot holes, he said/she said screw ups, I exploded into fury. You want my money? Work for it.

And I'm not just say this about self-pubs. I've bought some other books with typos. Ask those books how their book spine feels after I flung them at walls.

I except the little things but if you want to write for money, go to a class, learn how to edit, take your time, and let the story age. Lather, rinse, repeat.

If you're on a schedule (and this happens to ME a lot) get a beta. We work for hugs and returned betaship.

Now, after you've done that, put it to the test. Stamp an excerpt where it is easy to find and make sure you've put the best out there. (By that, I mean the beginning.) I need a hook and first pages should hook.

Just because you work for yourself, doesn't mean you decide how hard you work. Give us your best and we will come in hordes for your books.

Anything else to add? Those are my peeves.

*The author of this blog doesn't ask for your money so she will keep on having an affair with commas she probably knows shouldn't be in her work.*

how to fix the problems with blogs

Complain.

I did, on Twitter, and presto-magico, my buds came to the rescue. Miss Cherie told me that if I unclick the Stay Signed In button, that I'll be able to comment on my own blog and Bamo-Presto! again. It worked. I hate technology :) but if it works, meh.

<3 (Thanks, Cherie)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

the problem with blogs

I keep trying to answer your comments and stuff, but it doesn't work. So if you left a comment, I'm sorry :( Also, anyone want to direct me to a nonterrible blogging site? I am SO done with Blogger.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

First of All

Since no one took my offer of free books, I'll be making a giveaway/contest soon to win some YA titles. (IDEAS ARE SO TOTALLY WELCOME.)

Second:
I've been revising like MAD. Like, I couldn't function kind of revising. (And I don't know how well I'll do with the betas.) I missed socializing and being able to finish a thought without it being a sentence from my story. SO YOU GUYS ROCK FOR STILL BEING AROUND!

Third:
I can't even begin to tell you guys how crazy I am about my upcoming due date! (Book Baby) I think I've got something here and 33 days from now I'll be querying. AND HYPERVENTILATING LIKE MAD!

This story means so much to me and I hope that my hard work shows. If the story doesn't sell, though, I'm just going to tuck it away for another few years. I've done it once, I'll do it again.

Right now, I just came up another story idea. I'm not going to stop being a writer because I'm not published. :) Besides, I can always torment you guys with my unpublishables ;D


So let me know what you guys think I should do for the giveaway/contest! :D

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Notepad Trick!

I'm sorry for not blogging often! Computer is just not happy with me and frankly, I'm not too happy with it either! I've got a list of problems/consequences now because it won't work.

Well, anyway, on to the point of the story. I've edited and edited again my story. If you follow me on Twitter you have an idea how awful my first few edits have been. Even this one that I'm on (Draft "7") has been sleep depriving (am I spelling that wrong?)

I've never really gone this far in edits with one story but it seems worth it. For now.

But I'm here to share a secret. After the betas (and at the end I only had one that really worked. Fail. YOU CAN TOTALLY HELP WITH THAT, THOUGH.), I kept notes, I'm going back to tighten up the draft for another round and as I'm going, I remembered a trick awhile back to help me catch all the editing errors.

You see, even a great reader can sometimes change in their head or overlook typos, but not computers. Stay with me on this one.

Most of us have this primative thing on our computer called Notepad. It's pretty useless, really. Unless you want it to read to you.

Step One:
Open Notepad. Duh.

Step Two:
Past this in: CreateObject("SAPI.SPvoice").Speak" "

Step Three:
CreateObject("SAPI.SPvoice").Speak"THIS IS WHERE YOU PUT YOUR WORK IN"
  • There's a catch. Get rid of your little " and ( and ... (it'll say comma if you don't) and all other symbols. No spaces or whatever. Sounds like hard work, I know. I KNOW. I did it yesterday and it SUCKED. But it'll be worth it when the computer says done instead of down and you catch that typo.

Step Four:
Save the file, after all that crap in Step Three, as xyz.vbs

Step Five:
Open up the formatted version of your work about to be read to you.

Step Six:
Go to My Documents. Double click the script looking icon that is xyz.vbs and quickly go to your work.
  • Now, the reading is a little hard to listen to, at first. Robot voice. And also, if you need more time to get your doc, put something random at the beginning. (Like: Book Title by the fabulous Insert Your Awesome Name Here, as read by Insert Your Comp's Name Here. [I'm not the only one who named my computer.])

It's not much but it's something. :) Let me know if you guys have other tips!
P.S. I'm sure Notepad has other uses.